Day 1: What can I do to take care of you today?

My favorite quote from the book:

"Sex is the physical acting out of everything that marriage is. We become vulnerable with one another. We become naked with one another completely--and that means real intimacy. We cherish each other. We protect each other. But we also have a ton of fun with each other."

Today's reminders...

• sex is supposed to feel great (which it does...we don't really have a problem there)
• I am supposed to have a sex drive (duh...I know...wish it was never a problem)
• I am supposed to feel aroused (and I am...sometimes...)
• sex with my husband is supposed to make me feel loved and feel like we are connected (and it does...95% of the time)

Today's questions...

1. On a scale of 1-10, how would your rate your sex life?

• physically?     (8-9)
• spiritually?     (7)
• emotionally?  (7)

2. What would a great sex life in each of these areas look like for you?

We already have it down pretty well physically, though some variety might be nice. I know he'd like it...though I have to admit, what really works...as in "what really gets the job done" is plain old missionary style. He's amazing at oral sex, and his technique in general is very good. He aims to please, and he's learned how to do just that. He knows my body like the back of his hand.

As far as the spiritual or emotional side of our sex life, I think that's where we've lost touch. And it's not just with sex. Because we have sort of fallen away from each other over the past few years (not in a major way, but enough to know that we've become complacent), our spiritual and emotional connection have deteriorated. 

That's where we need to work. Romance. Sweetness. Caring for one another. Not just sexually, but as lovers. And the best way for me to do that is to begin taking better care of him. I'm already taking better care of myself.

So this morning, I ushered him away from the coffee pot when he woke up and told him I'd make it. I put his clothes away and did the dishes (normally his job, but he was tired). I also bought him a nice bottle of scotch and a card to congratulate him on a promotion he earned yesterday. I also emailed him these same two questions so he could mull them over and maybe answer them, too.

My marriage mantra thins month is going to be two-fold: 

What can I do to make your day better?

and...

What can I do to take care of you today?