The viscious libido cycle

So I'm reading this book...Sex Again, and the groundbreaking advice so far...if you have a low libido, have sex, it'll bring it back. Funny thing...not having sex makes you not want to have sex. And having more sex...well...it may make you want to have sex more often. It's not a new concept. Believe me, I'm not clueless enough to think that avoiding sex will make me want it or that having sex helps.

The hard part is starting, when you haven't for awhile. The worry of judgement or suspicion (from him)...sort of like "why now?" or "really...what's changed?" The inevitable "conversation" if things don't go well. The disappointment. And because that's where I am right now, just initiating sex can be a struggle. It's just easier not to. But...that whole "fake it till you make it" idea can work, if both parties will let it. My quandry is getting the DH to accept that the sex might not be stellar at first...but atleast it's sex, right? I suppose bad sex is better than no sex if you're objective is to get back in the habit.

The whole premise of the book (so far) is that Chinese medicine addresses all parts of a person at the same time, rather than trying to remedy one thing at a time. It asserts that a human being is an interconnected organism in which all parts interact equally. To address a low libido, one must consider health, mood, sleep, diet, relationship issues, etc. And, according to the book, you can really start anywhere. If you address one thing, it will affect the others. It just depends which one you want to focus on first. And since sex is usually the biggest concern in a marriage where one partner has a decreased interest...it seems natural that this is the place to start.

So I bought...

I bought the journal with the intention that both of us could write in and maybe learn a thing or two that we didn't already know. Plus, just the sharing of all those intimate details has got to stir up some feelings, right?

And, since I'm so not creative in the realm of sex, this little box of cards will hopefully do the trick. I thought I'd stick one in his lunch tomorrow. Just for fun. You can also just shuffle the deck and let the cards fall where they may. The cards are two-sided, so I suppose you could chose between the two options.

I don't know...could be fun.