Honestly, I think I have a fairly decent and realistic body image. I know I have faults...but those faults are natural. I've always had a big rear...always been curvy....always had cellulite on my thighs. The flat tummy became a thing of the past when I had my son, and now that I'm a mom, I carry more weight than I should, stress eat, and find myself to be a bit "rounder" and "softer" than I'd really like. But, ultimately, I'm really okay with my body
most of the time. Oh sure, I have my phases. My clothes just don't seem to fit right, I can't find anything to wear, I'm bloated and feel fat...I get on the scale after a vacation. You know.
So, the chapter of this title just doesn't "say it" for me. And what's in the chapter doesn't really go with the title.
This chapter is mostly about yin and yang and the dynamic balance of the two. It's about having energy that flows equally on both sides. There's a little quiz in this chapter to help determine if you are deficient in either yin or yang (apparently, I'm low in yin - who knew!?). It gives me information to arm myself for the acupuncuturist. I feel like I can walk in and actually sort of sound like I know what I'm talking about, Instead of him asking, "So how are you feeling today?" or "What issues would you like to focus on?" I can actually say, "So, I'm a bit heavy on my yang right now and likely may be low in estrogen and high in progesterone. I need to unblock my qi to help increase yin...and hopefully jumpstart my libido.
Here's a bit of a definition of yin and yang, in relation to your sex life (according to the book):
"The state of your health, both physical and emotional, depends on the balance of yin and yang within you; the helath of your relationship depends on the balance of yin and yang between you and your partner. And your sex life depends on both the state of your overall health and the state of your relationship. If there's an imbalance anywhere, it will show in your helath, your psychological well-being, your relationship--and your sex drive. In fact, lack of libido is one big flashing sign that something has fallen out of balance."
Solutions to low yin or yang:
- acupuncture (yes...I realize this book was written by an acupuncturist, so I get the push)
- massage
- herbal supplements
- yoga
- building up areas in which you are low (I assume this means looking at the chart in the chapter)
For those of us with low yin:
- read, watch, and think "sexy" stuff -- basically feed your mind what you want it to provide
- self-care (hair, nails, make-up, clothing...get rid of what doesn't make you feel "great")
- exercise and watch your weight (ugh...always with the exercise)
- eat right (whole, real foods - too much red meat can suppress estrogen production - choose yin-nourishing foods and estrogen-boosting foods - take the correct vitamins/supplements)
- hydrate and avoid alcohol and caffeine (ugh...again)
- evaluate your medications and their effects of libido/hormone levels/yin levels
- sleep
- manage stress
There's a great section in this chapter titled "Sex Never Gets Old, Neither Does Sexy." This is plain to see when I look around. I see older ladies...in their 60s and 70s and beyond, dressing for their body type, caring for their hair, smiling. Gray hair and wrinkles do not make one unsexy. Quite to the contrary. They can do the opposite Older women often seem more "at peace" with themselves and the people around them...more calm and capable of giving...more self-assured. Qualities that come with (or improve) with age. Of course, I am generalizing. But, you get the point. The book also points out (something I already knew) that, "True sexual intimacy and deep connection require experience and maturity." The book also warns against the common hole we can fall into - getting hung up on appearances: " When we are young, pure physical attraction gets our motors running. We can decided who to have sex with on the basis of whether we like what we see. We can decide if we feel sexual, based on how we thing we look. But, if you stay dependent on this most basic drive to get you going, then sex will tend to drop off as you age."
This chapter also addresses long-term relationships and how sex can become "routine." Blakeway writes, "It's easy to shut down sexually when we start to feel less responsive in the old, familiar ways." Basically, when our routine stops working, we fall apart. We get down on ourselves. We worry it's "broken."
Finally, the chapter addresses the yin and yang between a couple. Because, not only are yin and yang at play within you...that are traveling between you and your partner. His yang addresses your yin, and your yang adresses his yin. Blakeway states, "In this way of thinking, intercourse is about giving and receiving, creation and transformation, initiation and reciprocation. If the energy is a little off here or there, the whole system can run into trouble. But when it is in relative balance, everything runs smoothly." She goes on to explain that, "Western medicince views sexual response as part of a similarly tricky balanace--but of hormones, rather than energy...." and that "...hormone imbalance is the most common physical cause of sexual problems in women."
The chapter closes with an explanation of the different hormones and how they relate to yin and yang and libido.
An info-packed chapter, to be sure. And one to be considered, mentally, as I wander around the house today, cleaning, creating my micro-wardrobe (more on that later) and, running errands.
Bye for now,
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