31 Days to Great Sex: Days 9-12

So, I've been lax in my reading on this one. What with my crazy transition to summer and my jam-packed calendar (which will be thinning out dramatically now), I've not been focusing as I should. My morning ritual of posting a "meditation" for the day and setting the intention by lighting incense and a candle of the appropriate color has been put on the back burner.

Basically, I just became rather exhausted.

Now, I'm going to try to pick back up where I left off and refocus myself.

So here's the run down on days 9-12:

Day 9

Topic: laughter
Notes; At the root of many marriage problems is the fact that we stop having fun together.
Quotes:

"A couple that is laughing together is also a couple who enjoys being together, and who will find navigating all the difficulties of marriage much easier."

Day 10

Topic; preparing for sex throughout the day
Notes:
1. prep your body - clean, shave, fix your hair, do your make-up - do what you need to to make yourself feel your prettiest
2. clothes - dress to make yourself feel good...ditch the sweats and the dowdy, frumpy clothes...buy things that accentuate your best features and make you feel attractive
3. take time for yourself daily to decompress (one of the leading causes of low libido is high stress)
4. plan regular times to think about sex
5. sleep (a major culprit of low libido...it also affects cortisol levels)

Day 11

Topic: show affection
Quotes:

"For most men, sex is the need, and affection is the choice. For most women, affection is the need, and sex is the choice."

"Whichever one is your biggest need, realize that your spouse feels the need for the other with exactly the same intensity."

"...men may have difficulty showing affection when they do not feel loved. And to a man, a big part of feeling loved is know that his wife desires him and wants him."

Day 12

Topic: flirting
Quotes:

"Women's primary sex organs are our brains. for us to get in the mood, our brains have to be engaged. Take flirting out of the equation, and you take away one of your primary tools for boosting your libido."

"Flirting is a fun way to play with your husband. to boost your own libido, to get you thinking along those lines, and to make your husband feel wanted."

"When you have children, you owe it to them to make sure that your marriage is rock solid, and that includes having a close, intimate relationship with your spouse."

I'm not necessarily learning anything new from this book. But it is filled with little reminders that we all could stand to hear on occasion. And as a $4.99 kindle purchase, so far, I feel it's worth it. Some of the personal stories from readers that she shares make me sad. That people are married and are so distant or have never really had a sex life is depressing. I feel bad for couples who are missing out on sex or feel that sex is dirty and should only be used for procreation. Goodness sakes! Why would it feel so darn good if that were the case? The problem is, for lots of women, it either doesn't feel good or they haven't figured out how to make it feel good. To that, I say: Explore! Practice! Experiment! Masturbate! Take your husband to a class! Whatever works...because a marriage without passionate sex that feels good is a sad world indeed. I know. I've been there. But, I've also had it good, too. So, I know what I'm missing when things go south.

I wouldn't say this book is doing anything to improve my sex life yet. But, like I said, it's not a waste of 5 bucks, either.