How to be a better wife...Step 2: Get Physical

Men are tactile. They like to touch things. And they like to be touched back. It's a simple biological fact. I suppose there are guys who don't like to be touched, but the majority do. I'm not an expert, but...well, I've had some experience.

Also, men want to be wanted. They want to feel manly and masculine and strong and powerful. Yeah, I'm generalizing...stereotyping...but stereotypes are born from at least a bit o' truth. So when we ladies stop fawning over our men, oohing and ahhing and batting our eyelashes, their self-concept starts to slip. They lose confidence.

It's true what they say...behind every great man is a woman who loves him. That woman provides him a safe place to land, a home where he is loved and cherished and respected and wanted. A place where, even when the world beats him up, he is still "the man."

After several years together...and years of yelling at him to pick up his socks and clean up his damned mess...it's easy to forget what brought you to him in the first place. He packs on a few pounds. He plays video games and leaves a mess in the kitchen. He doesn't mow the lawn, lets the garbage pile up. Whatever it is, it starts to cloud the initial infatuation with a haze of marital disatisfaction.

The only way to clear the fog is to just trust that what's behind it is what you chose those many years ago. And while you're getting there, it just might be a good idea to consider all the characteristics that led you to fall for this man so hard you were willing to give your whole life to him. Even back then, I knew he had faults. But, those faults were dwarfed by lust and love. He was sexy and new and everything I ever wanted. Or so I convinced myself.

And I didn't go into marriage blindly. While our courtship was short, we were older and really knew what we were looking for in a mate. We had plans, and our plans meshed. And there was passion. Lots of it. Or maybe that was just an over-reactive biological clock. But, whatever it was, it was like superglue, and it hypnotized him. I was the girl every guy would want. I loved sex. All the time. Anywhere. I was fun. I was always in a good mood. Or at least it seems like I was from this distance.

I'm not sure what went wrong, where, when, why, or how. But it did. And it seems that his biggest complaint is that I stopped wanting him.

How do I show him I want him? Touch. A look. But, mostly touch. Constant touching.

So that's step two. Keeping my hands on him. Hugging him, yes, but really making it move beyond, "Hi, honey, I love you." It needs to be, "Hey, sexy, you make me weak."

That can be tough, especially when I'm tired and cranky, or have just picked up his mess, or been sent on an errand he forgot to do.

He's amazing. And I have to show him that...with my hands...with my whole body. He has to feel that it's true, not just hear it, or read it.