Handfasting

Years ago, when Dev and I first met, I was big into the idea of handfasting. What I liked most about the idea is that a couple chooses, every year, whether to be with that person for another year, or to walk away. It's not that either of us wanted a way out, or that we were afraid of committment. It's just that to actively choose someone every year meant you were re-investing and really wanted to be with that person. You weren't staying with them out of habit or because it was easier.

It's an old tradition. But, one I kind of think should be brought back.

He brought it up last night. He asked be to just be with him...and when I didn't want to be anymore - to tell him.

It kind of hurt.

But, it also kind of made things more vivid. I could leave. He could leave. There's nothing stopping us really. A piece of paper? A few hours in a lawyer's office? Moving some furniture? Sharing a child back and forth? Sure it's all a pain in the ass, but it isn't impossible. Thousands of couples take that route.

The harder choice is staying. But, it's also the right choice. For us, at least.

We still love each other.

And I think it's a good idea to bring back this idea of handfasting. We wrote our marriage vows based on Celtic wedding traditions, used the loosely bound red-ribbon, the silver cup... I think re-asserting our vows on our anniversary every year would be wise. We go on an "anniversary back-packing trip" every year. Into the woods, alone. Seems like the perfect time, really, to re-make our committment to each other.

Of course, that isn't until August, but... this is as good a time as any to start thinking about it.